margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
