I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
