I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just had sex on a roof
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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