yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
sarcasm needs its own font
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Randomize
