dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He better not be in your backpack
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
