even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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