I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The adults are the big ones right?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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