Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
