Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Please, let me fuck your mom
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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