I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
