i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
