so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
