she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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