i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
