just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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