It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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