Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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