This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
