They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
