i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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