i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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