I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i believe in u and ur pee
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