# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
