Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
