I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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