Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
