have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
