i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
