Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
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I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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