Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
