and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
