Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
