I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize