I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
