yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
where am i from again
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
