watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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