And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize