Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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