you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
