That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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