Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
