Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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