i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
