I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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