Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
