Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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