I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
