peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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