She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
