dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
