last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
