I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
