its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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