she was so not down for the gang bang
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize