I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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