Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
