I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
