No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
